OK 'kidlings', Phyllis is on the CL's patio - typing away her new blog - paying tribute to the Real Homewreckers of Genoa City; bite me ladies.

At the spa, Lauren finds the robe clad Ashley - who's launching Jabot's new nail colour - Jungle Rouge. Lauren updates that she signed over 50% of Fenmore's to her sister - but doubts it'll 'bring peace'. Meanwhile, at the mausoleum, Jill's on the phone - you made those changes I requested? Good.

At the ranch, Nikki's also in her robe - eyeing the decanters of booze, she can't resists the urge (and with a shaky hand - and teary eyes, pours herself a glass). Relieved to awaken from her dream, Nikki tells Meggie that she must have dozed off while reading. Saying no thanks to tea or a smoothie, Nikki hurries upstairs - there's some place she has to be.

In the spa's sauna, Ashley and Nikki discuss their relationships with Victor. Ashley's 'cured' - and for her Victor WAS a 'disease'. Wanting nothing but the best for them both, Ashley talks of Nikki sending her to find Victor in France - oh, what a selfless act. And she's sorry she shut Nikki out after that. Off for her facial, Ashley hopes Nikki will be happy with Victor - forever. At the manicure station, Phyllis blows her nails dry - listening.

Arriving at her office, Lauren's unimpressed to see Jill behind a desk she's had brought in. Nope - Jill doesn't want a corner office at Fenmore headquarters. She gets half of everything - including THIS office.

The yoga room is anything but relaxing - as Vikki and Mac compare notes on their moves (agreeing the situation is uncomfortable and weird). Joining the the 'Billy Abbott fan club', Chloe immediately spots the 'tramp stamp' on Vikki's butt (which she predicts she'll regret when the manwhore bails). Mac defends - Billy got a tattoo too AND bought a house with Vikki (who's not just some random chick Billy picked up in some bar). As Chloe gripes about the therapy Delia will need (thanks to Daddy), Vikki mentions Chloe and Kevin's RS cover. Having had enough, Mac marches out (followed by Chloe). Behind a copy of RS, Phyllis is once again listening in.

On the CL's patio, Heather wants Chloe to convince Chance to back off the investigation. He'll listen to you. Thinking it 'stupid' that Chloe slipped her engagement ring under the apartment door, Heather assumes Chloe did so because of Malloy.

Lounging around in robes, Vikki tells Ashley all about the new house she and Billy bought. You should come over. Vikki's heard all about the whole Newman/Abbott thing not working. Ashley's actually supportive of the 'bold move' - and thinks it a great accomplishment to get out from under Victor's shadow. Appreciating the support, Vikki looks forward to a bright future with Billy.

Bumping into Sharon (with Faith) at the park, Phyllis sends Summer off to chase butterflies - then snarls about Sharon playing house with HER husband. Pathetic - and don't include MY daughter). Sharon makes it clear that Nick wasn't with her at the tackhouse (and she's back at her own home now. Nick's a good man - a good father. Phyllis scoffs - that good man was sucking the face off some blond at Jimmy's the other night.

At the mausoleum, Nikki tells Kay that she's dreaming about alcohol (to the point that she could smell and taste it). Able to relate, Kay asserts that Nikki's sober - it was just a dream. Yes - but could it be a message? Telling Nikki NOT to marry Victor?

Looking very much at home, Meggie sips tea in the ranch's living room. 'Cheers lover', she tips her cup - smiling smugly at a framed photo of Victor.

Also clad in a fluffy white robe, Abby joins her Mom at the spa (after a relaxing massage with Ivan). Ashley's there for 'the works'. For Tucker? Abby balks - cause she's not doing anything for Daniel.

Nikki recalls the last time she was drunk - in Mexico (after Victor's harsh words and rejection broke her heart). What if Victor breaks her heart again? Will she turn to the bottle? Oh, but Nikki loves Victor - he's her soul. Kay not only feels that Nikki can have Victor and stay sober, she demands it.

Back on the patio, Chloe explains that she gave the engagement ring back because her fiance had sex with Heather (nothing to do with Malloy). Heather scoffs at the brief engagement - that's real devotion. Yeah, well - if Heather thinks Malloy's 'dirty', she's a moron. He's more trustworthy than SHE is. OMG - you have feelings for him, Heather grins.

Lauren's guess where - wearing what? Huh? Her meeting's been cancelled? Who would do that? Enter Jill - yup - wearing a robe (and a satisfied smirk as she stirs her coffee).

Sharon's on one swing (Faith in her lap) - Summer's in the other (being pushed by Phyllis). Hearing all about 'Daddy's new friend', Sharon now realizes the reason Phyllis wanted her to call Nick that night. Nick's a friend to all blondes, Phyllis crows. Sharon also realizes it was the same night Summer slept at the tackhouse. As Summer's sent off to the slide, Sharon contemplates 'that night' - Nick being with someone - then moving in with HER. That's our Nick, Phyllis grins - fall in love - cheat - rinse - repeat. Maybe Sharon's not as calm as she appears - but at least she's grateful for what she has. Watching Sharon march off (with Faith), Phyllis gags and mimics 'PollyAnna'.

Back to the spa. You're messing with the wrong business (and business woman), Lauren snarls. Bring it on sister! Jill and Lauren both punch buttons on their phones (Jill cackling when Lauren drops her in the juice pitcher). After more sibling rivalry in the sauna, Lauren scoops the last copy of RS (which she rips in half to give Jill her equal share).

Abby whines some more to Ashley (about being dragged from place to place - Mom either following or escaping from some man) - something SHE'D never do. Ashley HAS done some extreme things for love - but has also found extreme happiness (like having Abby). And like Abby, Ashley will never let herself become secondary to a man. You CAN be with a man without losing yourself. And if Ashley DOES get hurt again, she's strong enough to deal with it.

On the patio, Phyllis wasn't eavesdropping or anything - but is sorry to hear Chloe's engagement's off. But if she goes after the bad boys, don't whine when it doesn't work out. Phyllis is tried of Pollyanna's and Patsy's. Put on your big girl pants and do something about it. And while Chloe leaves Malloy a message, Phyllis sends her 'yummy new blog' out.

Sure, they've had ugly moments - but Nikki and Victor are the most devoted and passionate couple Kay knows. Stay married, she lectures - find another hobby (besides divorce). A dream can't 'blow it' - but Nikki CAN.

All the ladies at the spa now gather to listen to Jill and Lauren squabbling. Sharon arrives (for a gift certificate for Lily). I got all the class in this family! Jill bellows (as Abby calls for her camera crew). Everyone's cell phone then beeps at once. Phyllis has a blog? The Real Homewreckers of Genoa City.

Now home, Nikki tells Meggie that she's feeling just fine - and before her ride, how about one of those delicious smoothies?

Wow - look at all the hits, Phyllis grins (as all the ladies look horrified). One by one, they read excerpts aloud - the 5 finger discount broad - the one with the big crush on herself (at least use my name and link to my site, Abby wails). On and on it goes. I didn't use names, Phyllis points out - perhaps it's your own guilt talking. The robe clad mob shout at Phyllis en mass - then drift off one by one (leaving Phyllis with the cleaner vacuuming).

By herself at home, Kay reads aloud - about this little minx - brains, looks and from such a good family - play with fire and you might get burned. Meanwhile, a mystery hand (with the ever popular Jungle Rouge nail polish everyone's now wearing), plucks a pregnancy test off the pharmacy shelf.

Next: Meet our new art teacher, the preschool teacher tells all (Billy/Jill/Vikki/JT/Chloe) - Jana smiles as she carries Delia ... Angel I want this, Glo says to Kevin - so, will you take the job? ... What is it you want me to do? Heather asks - lie, cheat, steal? Spy - on Chance, Malloy replies.