At First United Church, the ever so dapper Neil and Devon's egos are stroked. Daniel's on hand, as are Roxanne, Tucker and Ashley, Dr Nate and Olivia. With Collin, Jill finds it hard to be there - and what about Lily? She had a moment, Daniel reports - but she's 'good'. After Neil introduces Leslie, Tucker goes to check on the nervous bride (with a supportive Lily) - and without further ado, the trio make their way down the aisle. Lily first - followed by Sophia on Tucker's arm (her appearance causing the best man to have a most inappropriate flashback). As so, the Minister begins ...
Asked to leave Jana's, Kevin and Billy would first like to know why (as per this here receipt) she purchased a pregnancy pillow two weeks ago. Jaw dropping, Jana doesn't have an immediate response.
Sneaky Nick and Phyllis watch Adam enter a hotel room (wondering if Sharon's in there already). She'll keep watch while Nick goes to check the room next door. In the room, and one step ahead as usual, Adam snickers - welcome to St Marten suckers.
Driving down the dark highway, the newly brunette Sharon eyes her map book - which indicates she's headed for Sedona.
The best defense is a good offence - and Jana thinks Kevin and Billy have some nerve (questioning her after breaking in). Having done NOTHING wrong, why oh why is Jana being punished? They all act soooo innocent - why's no one worried about Kevin being around Delia? Now turning on Billy, Jana reminds that Vikki thanked HER for being there for ALL of them. Everybody loves you, Billy can't argue that. Having made a fresh start, Jana turns her tears back to Kevin - you're gonna take THIS away from me too now?
In his PJ's, Adam goes up the hallway for ice (giving Nick and Phyllis time to sneak into the room next door). Deciding to 'hunker down' and wait for Sharon, both stare grimly at the one bed in the room.
Back at First United, Daniel eyes Lily as the Minister speaks of hope and bravery. Does Malcolm promise to honour Sophia with fidelity and true affection? He does - so does Sophia. As the rings, a few words, the obligatory kiss are exchanged (to applause), Neil's the only one not smiling.
The applause continues as Malcolm announces - she's mine now y'all. Neil and Lily follow the newlyweds to the foyer (where Neil's happy to see the bride so happy). Jill, Collin, Ashley, Tucker file past to offer congratulations - followed by the rest. And as Neil introduces his date, Sophia's smile slips with her insincere 'thanks for joining us'. All then line the steps to throw confetti as the newlyweds get into the limo and drive off. Sending Leslie on ahead, Neil checks on Lily (who assures she's fine before following Daniel to the car). That leaves Collin and Jill to mope briefly - but oh how happy they are.
Kevin tries to get Jana to admit she's done some stuff that doesn't make sense. Chloe loves her kid - just like Vikki and Billy (who also thinks the preg. pillow and ultra sound 'weird'). AND she's dodging questions. Come ON - tell us what's going on with you. Convince us. Fine, Jana will tell them the truth...
Brushing her teeth with her finger, Phyllis teases the 'high tech' Nick (listening through a glass held against the wall). In the room next door, Adam's having fun listening to them through his own glass to the wall. As he turns the radio on, Nick summons Phyllis over (so that she can listen through a glass). This is gonna be a long night, they agree (as Adam traces his finger along a map - destination Sedona).
Still driving, a nervous Sharon spills her extra large coffee all over the map when seeing (and hearing) a police car behind her. Oh God! Coming over with his flashlight, the officer checks Sharon's ID - step out of the car please.
At G-worm, Leslie's asked for any updates on Sharon (and can only tell Ashley that she adores that little girl - and is surprised she took off). Tucker's sure they'll find Sharon soon. Coming over with Nate, Olivia gets them chuckling by announcing she was once married to Malcolm (whom Sophia obviously adores) - which quickly wipes the smile off Neil's face. Arriving to more applause, Mr and Mrs Winters arrive. Launching into an ass kissing speech, Malcolm admits he was a jackass (I was trippin') - thankfully Sophia didn't find someone else - she stood by his side - til death do us part. And as Malcolm's about to appease the crowd by kissing his bride, Sophia suddenly gets nauseous and runs out.
Jana explains that she's trying to find Daisy's baby (not believing she's with Daisy in Canada - and knowing Kevin's been worried sick). Jana knows Daisy WAS in labour the night she left. She pretended to be pregnant (believing the baby was sold to a local baby broker). Wearing an 'oh crap' face, Billy clams up at the words; black market adoption.
Gee - d'ya think anyone noticed I ran to the bathroom to toss my cookies? Naw - you're human, Lily reassures the bride (who makes jokes about drinking bubbly on an empty stomach). And now it's time for all eight of the single ladies to try catch the bouquet. Lily opting out, fingers point at Neil when Leslie catches the bouquet. And when Leslie and Neil walk off exchanging jokes about it, the bride sure ain't glowin'.
Back in St Marten, Phyllis nods off (ear and glass still to the wall). Go to bed, Nick'll let her know if he hears anything. All hot and humid, Phyllis whines. Take my clothes off? You'd like that wouldn't you. Sarcastic, Nick will try and restrain himself (though is all but drooling as Phyllis makes a production out of shedding her dress).
When Jana shares what she knows about Primrose, Billy suddenly decides it's none of his business. The kids love her - so he'll get out of Jana's hair (and suggests Kevin do the same). Outside, Billy's in full panic mode.
Lily assures Daniel she's fine - hasn't seen Cane (but is thinking of all that happened - cancer, deportation - a man with a gun). Time to go, they agree. Meanwhile, across the room, Malcolm's attempt to feed Sophia wedding cake doesn't go well (as she doesn't 'feel right'). Deciding to leave, Malcolm thanks everyone for coming - the party's to continue without him and the Mrs (which leaves Neil and Leslie to hit the dance floor).
Off goes the radio - off go the lights. And with Adam in bed, it's time for Nick to turn in to. You're not sleeping here, phyllis protests. Leaning in like he's gonna kiss her, Phyllis looks awkward (and disappointed?) when Nick grabs her pillow. Phyllis also objects when Nick removes his shirt. It's hot, he reminds (as he settles into the chair). Can't wait for THIS to be over, Phyllis claims. Makes two of us, Nick's slightly more convincing.
Sharon back in her car, the officer explains he pulled her over because her tail light was out - but then it seemed she had something to hide. Sharon's just not used to dealing with law enforcement - or maybe it's too much coffee. Perhaps she WILL get some rest at the motel up the road. Now alone, Sharon tries to calm herself down - freaked out but relieved that she dodged a bullet.
Yes, Jana thinks Kevin's niece might be in town. Kevin's aghast - somebody bought my niece - like a piece of furniture! Who does that!? What kind of freak is raising this kid? At RS, Billy calls Primrose - no one must be able to connect him to her - ever. Requesting a meeting, Billy eyes a framed photo of Vikki and Lucy.
On the dance floor, an eternal bachelor before he met Ashley, Tucker vows to never let her get away ~kiss~ Next to them, Collin and Jill are equally nauseating ~kiss~
In the suite, a concerned Malcolm's sent out for some ice water (giving Sophia time to call downstairs). Is the gift shop still open? Does it sell pregnancy tests? 'Oh brother', a worried Sophia seems to sigh as she hangs up.
Sending Daniel home with a friendly hug, Lily's left to once again spot Cane outside the patio doors. Stop it - stop it! she mutters to herself. Opening her eyes to find him gone, 'I'll never stop missing you', she sighs - unaware that there's boot prints on the patio.
Awakened by a phone ringing, Nick and Phyllis jump out of bed - and glasses to the wall, can only hear Adam 'mumbling'. Adam can hear Sharon's whining loud and clear - she's tired and scared. You CAN do this - I'll be by your side soon, Adam encourages. We're meeting at that same place right? Clearly torn, Sharon's too distressed to answer.
Next: I'm gonna come clean, Diane tells Victor. Come clean about what? About me and Nick ... Sharon's writing a series of letters on Shuteye Motel stationery. Envelopes propped up addressed to Noah and Faith, this one's to Adam (as much as I love you, we can't be together...) ... Victor growls at Tucker - When you bought my son Adam's stock options, you crossed the line.
My Thoughts: Malcolm has to leave the suite for water? There's no chilled bottles in the mini fridge? ... All the traveling Phyllis has been doing lately - and she doesn't have a toothbrush in her purse? ... OK - I have a challenge for ya. As Sophia and Malcolm get to the bottom of the church steps, who let out that glass-shattering screech? I rewound it 4 times and still couldn't figure it out. It sounded like Lucy (if some was twisting her arm off or sumthin') ... Baby got back - Roxanne's a svelte girl (her dress looked like it had a bustle on the back) ... Forget 'eternal love' - surely God's 'greatest gifts' are the huge mounds nearly choking the bride. Yes, Sophia's full figured - buxom - but do those puppies ALWAYS have to be on full display - so in your (or Sophia's) face? Neil's not the only one fantasizing I'm sure (especially after the receiving line hugs) .... How difficult must it be for everyone to look Sophia in the eye when reading their lines? Who'd believe she was nauseous today because she hadn't eaten? (actually the flashback of her and Neil left me a bit queasy too) .. Sophia'd need a helluva lot of 'butterflies' to carry her up to the altar .. The wedding album oughtta be fun - with Neil scowling in most of the photos ... Who's gonna drink those extra 12 bottles of champagne Neil ordered? The handful of extras scattered about must be real lushes (notice they didn't show up for the ceremony - just the free food and drink) ... And who's running G-worm anyway? You'd think that with Gloria behind bars and Loverman at a convention in Las Vegas, Kevin would be on hand to oversee this shindig (and why isn't Deacon tending bar?) ... Where's the 'borrowed' hair clip Lily gave Sophia to wear? ... I can't believe they're doing yet another 'who's the Daddy' storyline? Is Y&R a Maury Povich production? Too bad they had to turn the only strong female character into yet another mattress o' many men ..... Don't we have enough of those? .. Speaking of which: Nick's finally interesting again (watching the sparks between him and Phyllis is much better than watching him play Super Dad) ... Does that glass to the wall eavesdropping thing really work? Good thing the hotel has glasses instead of plastic cups. Phyllis must be a very light sleeper. The walls are thin enough to hear a phone ring through - but not a conversation? Perhaps Adam shoulda put his phone on vibrate mode. Of course Phyllis can't hear any words (other than 'blah blah blah') on Adam's radio - the song's in French ... Billy and Kevin went 'riffling' through Jana's things? I thought for sure that was a blooper - but apparently it's not. Who knew? ... What's that sticking out of Phyllis' dress? First one side, then the other - then both. Oh - it's her strapless bra - looks like her dress was slipping long before she stripped down (and I DO mean stripped down - all that was missing was the pole) ... If Tucker's tie needed fixing, why didn't Ashley do it? Oh yeah - cause she has no fashion sense (as evident by the lace trimmed burlap sack she had on) ... Lovin' Billy - he couldn't look any more busted. Can't wait til Kevin finds out 'what kinda freak' is raising his niece ... Ghost Cane walked through mud puddles? Ya don't see Ghost John leaving a mess. Perhaps Cane could be helpful - maybe pull out that 'Collin's my father' note he wrote - the one that fell under the table (and apparently hasn't been found during Lily's weekly vaccuuming)