Al la Desperate Housewives, dead Diane narrates - talking about secrets - as Ronan adds more photos to the white board. Ashley, Tucker, Abby, Nick, Phyllis - they're all suspects too. There's one question one everyone's mind: Who Killed Diane Jenkins? - as the newspaper headline reads.
Diane sits - demure in a white dress - photos of all the suspects are surrounded by candles and flowers. She can't say which one of them 'did it' - but she's dead because of ALL of them.
Diane continues to gripe - I'm gone - brutally murdered - makes ya wonder - (about those who carry on), do they do so because they're heartless - or guilty? At RS, Jack updates Nick and Phyllis - he's off to Switzerland to give Kyle the bad news. Hearing that they both received the same text message (from Diane), Jack warns them to expect Ronan. With words of support from both, Jack leaves for the airport. That leaves Nick to notice that Phyllis seems 'freaked out'. Yeah - murders do that to her. No - she and Diane weren't close - but the park is - we take our kids there - it's unsettling. Diane scoffs - wondering what's really bothering Phyllis.
Now Diane talks about others - who couldn't care less that she was bludgeoned to death. Vikki takes narcissism to new heights. At home, Vikki leaves a message for Billy - why did you leave?? Call me ~click~ Victor drops by - to update that the cops have spoken to him - and will likely accuse her and Nick too. Vikki has nothing to hide. Nothing? Diane sneers - and how about her Naked Heiress sister?
At the GCAC's bar, Abby orders OJ - and tries to get rid of Adam - who guesses a lot of people are tossing and turning over Diane's murder. Who has 'the key' to the mystery? Flashback to Diane at the park with Abby - she has the key that could take down her entire family. Woooo - Abby fakes a shudder. Abby SHOULD be scared - the key's to a safe (that contains Abby's confession). Mommy took the blame because you were drunk, Diane holds the key - too high for Abby to grab it. Back to the bar - Abby denies knowing anything about Diane's murder. We were here - all night - don't you remember? Adam suggests they help one another (as alibis).
As Diane wonders if their argument is what's bothering 'loverboy', Tucker reads the newspaper. Flashback to their blow out. Diane's threats to expose the tape - angry Tucker wishes he never laid eyes (or anything else) on Diane.
Ashley comes home - but only to pick up some things. Because Tucker lied about his fling with Diane (while she defended him for months), she's moving to the club. Near tears, Ashley's not sure she can forgive him. So - she agrees with Kay (that they should end the marriage)? Ashley gets a call from Ronan - who's on his way over to discuss Diane's murder.
Vikki claims she's had a rough day. Billy was here? Victor guesses - he's let you down - isn't worthy of your love. Vikki wishes things could go back to the way things were ~hug~ You can't go back, Diane chimes in from wherever she is; things have changed - for Nick too. Her death effected him ....
At RS, Nick didn't like any of Phyllis' ideas. She admits she's 'off her game' - and expecting to be questioned about Diane's murder. She probably sent a lot of people that text, Nick says - then flashes back to HIS meeting with Diane (who vows to bring everyone to their knees). When Nick dials the DA (to bust Diane for blackmail), they struggle over his cell phone. Nick tells Phyllis that she ignored Diane's text - like you did, right? Flashback to their meeting - over 'unfinished business'. Yeah - I ignored it too, Phyllis lies. Neither are worried - but - we should have alibis.
Abby denies her night wasn't a complete blank. Good - then she'll remember that Adam was at the bar - with a woman. If she'll vouch for him, Adam will provide an alibi for Abby (who doesn't need his help). Diane pipes up - wondering of Adam knows she's hiding something. She could forgive them - except Kyle has no mother.
Jack's on the plane to Switzerland, as Diane sympathizes with the news he's to deliver Kyle. But - is Jack the one who took his mother away? That would be a kind of evil Diane can't describe.
Waiting for Ronan, Ashley and Tucker assume they're suspects. No one was more pissed off at Diane then he was. Flashback to Ashley meeting Diane (who declares Tucker an amazing lover). Abby tried to tell you - but you didn't believe her. You ARE the worst mother ever. Ronan's invited inside - where were you guys last night?
At the bar, Adam continues to work on Abby. There's not enough vodka to make her lie for Adam - why not get his tramp to back him up? But who will standby Abby? Oh right - no one. That'll come back to bite her.
Since Vikki can't focus on business, Victor decides to go pummel the heavy bag at the gym - work out his frustration ~hug~ That leaves Vikki to delete Diane's text message. Nothing to hide Vikki? Diane's voice sneers.
This is too good to be true - watching them all lie - so Ronan doesn't figure out they were at the park. The newlyweds claim they were home all night. GC seems such a dark, dark place - not illuminated by the truth, Diane comments.
Back at RS, Nick and Phyllis decide to be one another's alibis - they WERE together MOST of the night after all. Ronan arrives to Phyllis' quips. Journalists tell the truth - of course she will too. Yes, just the two of them were working here last night. Ronan notices Phyllis' manicure - fresh. Don't leave town, he warns both - then leaves Phyllis and Nick to assure they have nothing to hide. At least they're smart enough to get alibis - but not dumb Abby (Diane keeps talking)....
At the bar, Abby tells Victor that Adam (the skeezoid) asked her to be his alibi - as if. Abby was at the bar - but doesn't remember anything after that. Adam offered to cover for her. Ronan comes along to ask the same question. Abby repeats - she was at the bar all night. Eddy the bartender can verify. Yeah, Eddy served Abby a few drinks - then cut her off (time unknown). Hmmm - interesting.
Returning to the station, Ronan examines a bagged fingernail. Diane has a good idea who it belongs to. Who else would wear such a tacky colour? Flashback to the park. Diane taunts Phyllis about the men who've left her - neglecting her kids. But Phyllis gets really upset when Diane threatens to post a clip of her and Nick on Viewclick (for Summer to see). After a brief struggle, Phyllis digs up a rock and scurries after Diane.
Flashback to Diane threatening Tucker - soon the world will know what liars they are. Grabbing her throat, Tucker threatens to kill her. Laughing, Diane throws him to the ground.
Ronan now examines a small bagged key. Who would put a key in my mouth - and why? Diane wonders aloud.
Flashback to Diane taunting Abby - one day - kaboom. They fight. Give it to me, Abby shrieks.
Next Diane has a tussle with Nick (as she tries to pick her cell phone up). it calls Ashley Abbot - as Nick threatens to kill her. People should be more careful - you never know who's listening.
Diane accuses Ashley of being a bad mother. You're such a bitch! Ashley shoves Diane to the ground. I'm not finished with you! she advances. And it's all caught on a wildlife camera attached to a tree.
Ronan ponders a photo of an impression on Diane's arm. Someone had to grab her awfully hard to put it there. Somebody who went to Harvard. Cut to the matching Harvard ring on Adam's finger - as he calls the girl he picked up last night.
On the plane, Jack has Timothy Bilton's passport in hand - looking agonized.
Was Victor really flying off to look for Nikki? Diane wonders. Flashback to her informing Victor that Adam's setting him up. She wants help/money - for her and Kyle. Despite her pointing out his buried watch - Victor won't help. And as he attacks her - rock held high, Vikki arrives to watch in horror.
Diane sits to theorize some more - about lies. Why do the good citizens want to cast themselves into darkness - are they afraid of the light (which they're blocking Ronan from)? And as all the suspects are shown deep in thought, Diane rambles on. Eventually the lies will be swept away. Dead men tell no tales - but whomever said that never met ME.
Next: Sweaty from his work out, Victor asks Genevieve if she wants him to teach her a little bit. That'd be great, she smiles.... Lily's at Jimmy's - to tell Cane that she's filing for divorce ... You are the most inhuman, unfeeling person I've ever known, Nina snarls at Ronan. Keep your voice down, he growls quietly.
My Thoughts: What's the point of having a mug shot taken in front of a ruler - if the person's not standing against it? Ashley's not 6 foot - and Abby's not even close to 5.6. Why wasn't Phyllis' mug shot posted? Or Nick's? Both must have em on file ... Today's show makes it even more preposterous that none of the suspects ran into one another. Oh wait - Vikki happened to show up while her father was tossing Victor around. Looks like at the very least everyone assaulted Diane.... Not sure how the imprint of Adam's ring could possible imprint itself on Diane's arm. Any of the suspects walking into the station will be able to see displayed photos of the evidence (and would then have a chance to get rid of items that connect them to the murder - IE, the ring) ... How clever of Ronan to check Phyllis' manicure - but not any of the other female suspects. Phyllis could very easily be caught in her lie. Surely the salon has a record of what time she came in to have her nails done (after the murder - not before as she claims) .. Abby blacked out last night? How did she get to the park? Why isn't she back in rehab? Clearly her drinking's a problem.. How did Phyllis know exactly where to dig up that rock? She'd be good in a scavenger hunt... Who knew Tucker was so physically frail? I thought it was only his mind that wasn't 100%. Diane threw him down like he was ...well ... her. .. Hypocrisy - thy name is Ashley. She's not sure if she can forgive Tucker for lying about Diane. But lied to him (and everyone else) by saying she was the one to run him over.